Rewards

Rewards

When I lived in Manhattan, my apartment was around the corner from a little bodega.  I was there almost every night buying a candy bar, sometimes two.  A couple of weeks before I moved out, one of the gentleman that worked there told me I should pick up cigarette smoking.  He was like a doctor in the 50’s who told his overweight patients to try smoking to curb their appetites.  This guy was calling me out!

It has taken me years to kick the sugar habit and to stop rewarding myself with sugary treats.  I actually still do reward myself with food, but with good food that I enjoy and (try to) eat in a fancy restaurant!  There is nothing more rewarding than eating a good meal with my husband and friends (I did not include my children in that statement because I don’t really taste my food when they are around).

Recently, we had a crying episode in church that lead my husband to say to the girls, “No bagels because of how you behaved in church.”  I didn’t want to argue with him, but in my head I thought, “Really?  We are threatening them with food.”  First of all let’s be honest, I wanted my weekly bagel!  And second of all, it made me cringe that we were using food as a bargaining chip.  Well, cut to the next week in church; we held the bagel threat over their heads and they were fine. And the minute Shealyn got a little out of line, what did I whisper in her ear, “UH, do you want your bagel?”  Horrible, right?!  But we all got our bagels and everyone was happy.  However, are we going to try to change this reward system?  Yes.

The more I study this topic, the more my stomach starts to drop.  I am totally guilty of bribing our girls (and myself) with food.  After beating myself up about being the parent that has to bribe her kids to behave, I did a little research and some brainstorming. Here is what I came up with:

1.)   Coins – If the girls are really good, I promise them coins for their piggy bank. They are saving for pink sparkly tapping shoes (this has also become a wonderful time to teach them about basic economics…sparkly tapping shoes are clearly a want and not a need)!

2.)   Bouncers and Slydos – my girls love this place! 

3.)   A trip to our favorite park (or a new one)!

4.)   An arts and crafts project that we do not do often.

5.)   Limit television and then use it as a reward.

6.)   Movie night!

7.)   Check out oriental trading www.orientaltrading.com and stock up on stickers and pencils so you have things on hand to reward with other than food.

My other ideas do include food but in a fun healthy way.

1.)   Dinner at the beach or a lunch picnic at the park.  The reward focus is the change in scenery not the treats you may have included with the meal.

2.)   Let your kids bake with you.  We love to make healthy muffins from our friend Meredith’s blog (www.whatsforlunchdot.com – click on baking and look for the Apple a Day recipe).  The treat is the baking the muffin and eating what we have created.

3.)   Never say never!  I know in my heart of hearts that there will be times when I will use ice cream or other foods as a reward.  I would be lying if I said other wise.

And for us adults;

1.)   Manicure

2.)   Pedicure

3.)   Message

4.)   A long walk

5.)   A yoga class

6.)   Scratch off lottery ticket

7.)   Movie

8.)   Sign up for a special class (cooking, writing, painting)

These will never leave my list,

1.)   A great night out with your partner and or friends enjoying good food and good company! 

2.)   A glass of wine and your favorite magazine.

I would love to hear feedback about how you are rewarding yourself and families! 

Love deeply, eat mindfully and reward wisely,

Kim Gilroy

Insideout Wellness