Changing Behaviors

Changing Behaviors

Today’s blog is inspired by the master behavior changer Colleen Simko, a teacher and friend who I deeply admire for a variety of reasons.  Her organization and unwavering consistency mixed with the ability to reach children on all academic levels is truly amazing!  

My last year of teaching I had a student whose behaviors changed so drastically at mid-year that I was forced to completely change my approach with him.  Before my eyes, this student began to unravel; his emotional breakdowns were beyond words.  I had a behavior plan in place but at times, all I could do was try to make him feel comfortable and loved.  Now some of you non teachers might be saying: “Oh Kim, how sweet, trying to make him feel comfortable and loved.”  And my seasoned teacher friends are saying: “You fool that’s where you went wrong!”

There are many theories and strategies to assist students in changing their behaviors.  Among all of these strategies and theories, the principle that behaviors can be changed is the common theme.  So, what does all of this have to do with health and wellness . . . EVERYTHING!

Here are a few key points on how it works:

1.)  Start slowly and be specific on the behavior you want to change.  Like I have mentioned in the past, don’t say, “I am going on a diet!”  That is too vague and you are setting yourself up for failure.  Keep your wellness goals attainable and simple.  For example, add more fruits and vegetables to your diet.  The summer is bursting with fresh fruits and vegetables and now is the best time to focus on that one simple goal.  If you are eating more fruits and vegetables and you are not working out, that would be your one goal.  But again be specific and reasonable.  “I am going to start working out!”  Too vague.  What are you going to do?  “I am going to do free weights for my arms and 20 minutes on the treadmill 3 days a week” is more like it. Set an attainable goal that you can build on!

2.)  Reflect and analyze why this behavior is happening or not happening.  Why don’t I eat fruits and vegetables?  Why am I not working out?  Think about you, your actions and your feelings towards health and wellness.

3.)  Create your plan and take ownership of it!  If your goal is to eat more fruits and vegetables, make a shopping list of the fruits and vegetables that you like.  Where are you going to get them?  How are you going to prepare them?  If you are working on getting your kids to eat more fruits and vegetables, start a garden.  That is an amazing way for your family to take ownership of eating more fruits and vegetables (for more information on starting a garden visit Earl’s Kitchen Gardens on Facebook).  If your goal is to start working out, what days are you going to do it?  What time?  Lay out your work out clothes the night before and have a clear plan on what you want to accomplish during the workout.

4.)  Keep track.  Journal about your goal and continue to reflect on what is working and what is not working.  If you are not one for journaling, create a tally chart to help you keep track of your success. 

5.)  Positive language is key.  “Oh, I am the worst at cooking vegetables!”  “My family does not do vegetables.”  “Uh, I am not a workout person!” You have to change your thinking.  When talking about how you and your family eat, say things like, “I am excited about all the fresh foods this time of year” or  “I think I am going to experiment with new fruits and vegetables this season” or “This nice weather is inspiring me to work out.”  This positive language component is also positive thinking.  There is something called the “Shadow Theory” that Debbie Ford and Deepak Chopra talk about.  Under the Shadow Theory, you take the negative quality that you want to change and view it as a positive.  “I hate working out” becomes “I love working out.”  “I am the worst cook” becomes “I am the best cook.”  When you focus light (positive) on the shadows that have brought you down, you reverse the negative and turn it into something positive.

6.)  Reward yourself.  If you have reached your goal, do something special for yourself.  Get a manicure or a pedicure! 

Changing behaviors (old habits) is a journey.  Walking through the halls where I used to teach made me extremely emotional and reminded me of how amazing the journey can be.  On the drive home, I reflected on the growth of my old students, and how they have changed in so many ways, specifically the student I mentioned above.  I felt such joy for him in his present state.  He is mature, with clearly a new confidence.  His journey has taken years, but let his success (changed behaviors) be an inspiration to all of us.

This blog is dedicated to all the amazing teachers, administrators, psychologist, social workers, therapists and aides I know (and don’t know).  The time, effort and dedication you give to your students is beyond amazing!  Enjoy your summerJ